The Eternal Optimist

Awhile back when I was running across particularly interesting people each morning on my bus ride to work, I started sharing stories on here. Tonight’s Metro ride is worth sharing.

A hippie guy is talking to a girl (who appears to be his friend) on the Metro about how he hasn’t found the right girl yet and wouldn’t want to change for a girl.

Guy: I mean, I’ll change some little things maybe, but not the big things.

Girl: Yea

Guy: It’s like “Stop living in your van”? No, not going to change that.

I wish the best of luck to this guy and his van.

On one of the 90s buses last week, a 4-year-old sitting behind me sees a guy walk off the bus wearing a cowboy hat. He starts shouting over and over: “Mommy, a cowboy! Mommy, a cowboy! Mommy, a cowboy!”

Yes, you don’t see many of those in D.C.

The other night on the bus, a woman had her small child of about 2 years sitting with her. The child would occasionally say something random, and the woman started responding with, “Are you tripping?”

After the third time, I began to worry that the kid might, in fact, be tripping. Let’s hope that was all a joke.

Today’s bus adventure began when I looked out the window and saw a man peeing in the alley. This was a common sight when I was in India, but it took me a bit off guard on the side of Florida Avenue in D.C.

That was followed up with a very amusing conversation/argument between two passengers. There are really no words to describe it. I wish I had a recording to accurately convey this experience, but here’s my short summary:

Woman asks bus driver to tell her when the bus reaches St. Luke’s Hospital. Another passenger overhears the request. Somehow this leads to an argument with her and the  other passenger about which quadrant the hospital is in. (The hospital is on East Capitol Street, meaning it’s on the dividing line between NE and SE. They actually argued which quadrant it was in, or which side of the street it was on.)

This leads to an argument of who’s a real Washingtonian. Questions thrown around included “How old are you?” and “Which hospital were you born at?”

That somehow leads to a discussion about McDonald’s food. How it’s more affordable, but still getting expensive. And, from the other woman, how it’s not very healthy to be eating it.

And THAT leads to a conversation about work. Apparently, says one woman, if you work you can get coupons for McDonald’s. The other woman notes that finding work is hard these days. But McDonald’s coupons are good. How can she PROVE that you can get McDonald’s coupons if you have a job???

You would really have to witness it to understand the gravity of these arguments.

P.S. The cats are currently doing cartwheels as they wrestle across the floor.

On the 90 bus last week: A guy stops and says I should be named Beautiful. Then realizes the only seat in the bus is next to me and sits down.

He pulls out his McDonald’s cheeseburger as he says, “There’s no eating on the bus,” and he proceeds to chomp down on it. In between bites, he asks me how old I am, when my birthday is (from which he announces some math and notes that I was born on a Saturday, then says I’m the second person from 1982 he has talked to today), where I work, where I went to school (He knows a guy who once worked on a farm in Missouri and called it Misery, he says.) and my name. My constant staring out the window away from him and my timid one-word answers did not dissuade him.

By that point, he has finished his cheeseburger and gets off the bus. The guy behind me says, “Wow, he asked a lot of personal questions!”

Luckily, the next gentleman to take that seat followed the more normal route of not speaking a word to me.

On the way to work yesterday, I was on the 92 bus, and it was standing room only.
(Note: Conversation is paraphrased but true to the original content.)

As we neared my stop, a woman was talking to the driver and asked him for his number.
Driver: I have a new phone, and I don’t remember the number.
Random passenger: Oh! That’s a bad excuse!
Woman: Yea.
Driver (loud enough that I can hear every word at my seat in the middle of the bus): You’re a fine sister. If I met you on the street I’d definitely be interested. I just don’t want to declare it to the whole bus.

(Uh … too late!)

After taking the bus for a couple months, I’ve realized how thoroughly entertaining it is. I rode to and from work on the bus today, with a great story each way. Thus, I’ve decided to add an “Overheard on the Bus” “On the Bus” feature to this blog. Expect to see a steady stream of posts.

Tonight’s gem is from the 96 bus. An out-of-towner had been asking the bus driver the best way to reach her destination on 11th Street.

When the bus is on New Jersey Avenue Northwest,  around R Street:
Woman: Is this Georgetown?
Bus driver: No
Woman: Ok, I’ve only been there once but it kind of looks like it.

For those unfamiliar with D.C., Georgetown is a hoity-toity neighborhood by the river.  New Jersey and R is probably considered the Shaw neighborhood. It might be up and coming in about 10 years, but it hasn’t reached that point yet, I don’t think. As a woman, I’m not sure I’d walk there alone at night.

I’m sure Georgetown would be thrilled with the comparison.